Our Christmas angel...

So yep, she had pneumonia again for sure. Her CRP was elevated, she had an infiltrate in her right lung and she was miserable to boot. Needless to say we did not get to do the EGE testing that time; instead we went on home with ‘scrips for steroids, antibiotics, and orders to check back in with Dr. McArthur the next day or sooner if she got worse overnight. We did end up taking her in the next day to see the doctor and as expected there was the “do we admit her or not” issue to be dealt with.

I know I said that I’d just say go ahead and let’s admit but it just isn’t that easy. There is a fine line that I feel I can walk with Alana in regards to when to admit. At that point I felt that if she could just get some fluids in that she’d feel better, ergo, be able to stay home longer. For the time being the doc agreed and what we settled on was doing an IV in the office. It wasn’t going to be a magic fix by any means but it might allow her the strength that she needs to make it through this. While they are getting things ready Dr. Tapple, whom she’s seen many times when Dr. McArthur isn’t around and admitted Alana for her October stint, sees that we are there again. He inquires as to why, is told, asks if she’s going to be admitted again and shakes his head. I think that the Alana frustration is rubbing off on him as well…

Once the line is placed she promptly falls sound asleep and we just wait for the bag to run through her. It’s amazing how much it can hurt to watch her have a line placed even though you know that she desperately needs it there. I’ve seen her have so many placed I couldn’t tell you a number, I can tell you it still hurts me; not as much as it hurts her, but in a very different way. Over time the line seems to be working and she’s sleeping a bit better and has some color to her cheeks. This is all great news at this point as it means that there is hope that we can go home!! It’s right around Christmas time and she really wants to be the angel in the play at school and I really want her to be that angel.

It does end up working out and she is allowed to go home on tight orders. If she gets worse, doesn’t eat or drink in ‘x’ amount of time, or has an even harder time breathing then we have to return, not only return but return with the knowledge that she will be admitted straight away. I can handle that and I do think that she is OK enough to be at home for the moment.

The play rolls around and she’s WONDERFUL! Thank goodness for such an amazing teacher (Mrs. C) who just takes Alana in stride; she knows when to push her, how much to push her, and when to just offer her a hug without any pushing involved! I am so very blessed with some of the people that are in Alana’s life. She does her lines wonderfully and is in great spirits for the duration of the play. Lucky for us it’s not very long and she’s able to make it through without coughing to bad.
We go back the next day for another check-in and there’s been no real change in Alana. We are given the go ahead to head down to Cooper Landing to spend Christmas with everyone again, conditional; she gets no worse, the hospital in Soldotna is within a short driving distance, and nothing new pops up. This is all doable in my book so off we go to grandma’s house.

Christmas was as well as could be expected. She did have problems with eating and drinking like I’d anticipated but not to the point of dehydration. She did lose more weight, a total of 12% of her body when it was all said and done, but she enjoyed Christmas at home, with her family…not in the hospital like the previous year. It took almost 3 and a half weeks for the pneumonia to finally clear up and things never went back to the ‘old’ way again. Her baseline had officially changed, not for the better.

There are things that I don’t remember to mention in here until I am at a point like I am now. These are the little things that no one can put their finger on but are like pink elephants starting to fill up a room. Alana has had new things going on that I’ve been, for lack of a better word, ignoring. I know that sounds ignorant, foolhardy, neglectful, you name it I’ve thought it. I wasn’t ignoring them because I thought that they were not worthy to be followed, I was ignoring them because I was worried that they needed to be followed. Of course this didn’t last long at all. As Goldfinger so put it, “the first time is happenstance, the second time is coincidence, and the third time is enemy action”. None of this was really going un-noticed by me; I just didn’t know what to make of it was the problem. Here’s a partial list of what I was noticing:

Extreme redness on her face
Hot ears
Hot and red hands and soles of her feet
Raw, painful patches on her tongue
Increase work in breathing
Decrease in her SATs even with the increase in work
A lot of rashes
Sleeping 2-3 hours a day
Increase in her heart rate as well as dips in her heart rate that last longer than they should

I didn’t know what to make of those things or even what to do about them so how the heck was I going to take care of them!? I did take heart that I was not the only one noticing them, Dr. McArthur noticed them as well and agreed that this indeed seem like a new baseline even though it was lower than her crappy baseline to begin with!

Things pretty much continue in that same manner for the next few months. Alana sleeps even more than usual, she is coughing more, she’s running fevers tighter together, not gaining back the weight that she lost in October and December, having frequent rashes and tongue issues, etc., etc. Amongst all those concerns I notice that she’s just really struggling to do daily activities that she used to be able to do, swimming for instance. Granted she still had some issues with them but she still was able to pull them off. Now she can’t even do that and it frightens me to see her literally and figuratively, sink. We are now in February of 2009 and there are changes on the horizon that shake up a lot of things.